I was hesitant to write this article for two reasons. First is that its content is self-explanatory, given that every detail in itself reflects life details. The second reason is that writing this article consumes me and exhausts my energy, which is full of sorrow about the reality that is almost dark.
You might guess what is in my mind, even though I hope I wouldn’t be misunderstood by assuming that I am propagating despair and depression.
Evidently, with every dawn I discover that I am overwhelmingly covered with darkness, and that three quarters of world’s reality is grim.
Today’s world is facing utmost danger, ferocity and displacement. Mankind engages in life battles hesitantly with some words that can inspire some comfort, such as hope and triumph, at a time when he fights with himself to reach the state of appeasement that guarantees self-balance.
When I say this kind of topic consumes and exhausts me, I am being truthful. It reaches the extent that sometimes I have difficulty in breathing and dealing with the sadness.
The life of peace, which you could be living, is characterized by a world of hunger, oppression and displacement. Mankind does not know what role to engage with, whether be one with himself or with the world, which is filled with fear and violence.
Putting our reality into perspective, when we contemplate about our Muslim world, which is awash with values and virtues, we end up remembering Egyptian jurist Muhammad Abdo’s famous saying when he visited Europe, “I found Europe to be Islamic without Muslims…”
In our countries where there is abundance of Muslims, mosques, and fatwas of halal and haram, one thing that attracts despair and depression is when both halal and haram is found in the same soul, and most importantly, when truthful ideas are contaminated with lies.
In my opinion, perhaps majority of Muslims suffer from split personality in terms of belief. On some occasions such as the holy month of Ramadan, you would find Muslims at their best during the day in terms of fasting and self-control, but at night they are exactly what they are not supposed to be, especially during the blessed month, in terms of submitting to desires.
You might find a man who habitually deals with usury and bribery but who will be the one to stand in the first line of the praying congregation.
I will not try to justify my contradictions, I flexibly limp spiritually when I listen to Assala Al-Nasri’s song “If they knew”. Despite that, I never miss a day without reading the Holy Quran.
We all have our shortcomings; the difference is the scope of it. You cannot compare the one who lies and deceives for achieving their goals with the one who listens to the songs of Nazem Al-Ghazali.
Such a contradiction is part of a pile of breakdowns which we climb on. Perhaps, pieces of self, which might seem unnoticed, could be the ones that shatter the moral self of the entire world, which we are definitely part of.